I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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