Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
