Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
