brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
