The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
