so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
pray to the hookup gods
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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