apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
