God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
