at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
