dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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