Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
