And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
