At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Let's get the cat blown out
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
