No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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