I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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