In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
