Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
