Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
