it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
