Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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