Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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