dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
