Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
