Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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