I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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