get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
