Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Holy sore nipples Batman
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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