I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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