ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
