how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
