Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
