so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
either way he was missing a nipple.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize