His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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