we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
