if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
