operation harelip BJ is a go
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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