I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize