question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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