But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
