I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The power of my boobs compel you
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
