He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
