is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
