im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
