Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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