I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
