called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
