I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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