He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
