I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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