Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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