she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
