I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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