Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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