I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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