I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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