Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
