I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
