i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize