So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I think people are normalizing furries
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
