The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I got inside last night via doggy door
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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