I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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