Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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