He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
