I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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